11.15.2010

**You've got to get out. You can't stand to see me shaking.

---Note: I am sorry this is incredibly late. For the past three days I have been working non stop in my room painting, reorganizing, and the like.

I opened that box of notes.
A can of worms I should have never started.
My throat closed up,
My vision blurred,
And I all but froze,
As I read those dreaded passages.
Only a few lines from each one---
Just to make sure it wasn't worth keeping.

One by one I threw them away.
It was a eire mechanical movement.
Most of my mind was somewhere else,
wrenched back into a different time,
when the message was written.

The papers sometimes tore
from my shaking hands.
Bit by bit I threw away the past.
Whole notebooks.
Over a year worth of notes.
Drawings.
Poems.
Conversations.

This new room is more symbolic than I thought it could be.
A fresh start.
Forget the past.
(as much as you can)
Neglect is an art.

2 comments:

  1. I can relate. (You haven't been to see my room yet, have you?) I chose to not go through most of the rest of the notes I found after I started. It was way too much and I had to be mentally here to make sure everything worked out how it needed to.

    Agreed: Neglect is and art.

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  2. No, I need to come over this week. And you need to see mine too. Its not compleatly finished yet tho. The bed isn't up.

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