Unfulfilled.

Today was wonderful. You picked me up inside and took a big weight off my heart. I've missed cuddling with you. When your arms are around me I feel so much safer. I feel like everything can work out and there is no reason for me to worry. I see the Jake I fell in love with, not the Jake I argue with. I just want to stay there forever, where the everything is perfect for a few moments. I want to stare into your eyes and tell you that I love you. And I did. You response wasn't perfect, but what is? I love you.

The only problem with spending time like we did today is that its too good. I don't want to give it up. I don't allow myself to bring up what I've been meaning to talk with you about for so long. Even though I know that right then, we both let our guard down, and I could really speak to you and make you understand where I'm coming from. But I feel like those moments are a fragile pice of glass. If I open my mouth it will shatter into a million pices and I wont be able to put it back together. I'll just have to wait for the next glass-moment to come along. And what if it doesn't? So I push the important issues to the back of my mind and lose myself in your presence for awhile.

When I have to leave, all too soon, I'm still floating on air. For the rest of the day I should be happy. And I am. Although I feel unfulfilled. I know I should have talked to you and I'm beating myself up for not doing it. Now I'm just going to put it on the back-burner and wait for another oportunity. And sadly, I know when that time comes around I'll just ignore it again.

Its my fault. I have to learn to speak my mind. And soon.