I've been listening to too much music lately...

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best
---
The song comes on my Pandora,
Slow, sad, and full of emotion.
I can't help but think about you.
I had a simple dream last night
of you and i talking in the halls.
My head resting on your shoulder.
Hanging with our friends
and everything was right.
When I woke up I could have
sworn I felt your hand
resting on my side.
Unfortunately,
It was only a pillow.
Those little things are what I need.
I need to rest my head on someone,
and be held together when I'm losing it.
I need you to squeeze my hand
when I let my mind wander to far.
I need you where to keep me in check.
I can live without you,
but without you I'll be miserable at best.
---

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

While I'm at it, it might as well say this. I doubt you ever read this. You only read it once that I know of when we were together. What would make you look at it now? But anyways, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't have to voice to say it, and I'm to weak to actually be myself around you. What I'm apologizing for is my shell. I can't make it through the day without it but with it I'm so mean. And i hate it. I really do. Every second. I actually felt good when I said that shit to you earlier. I know it hurt (at least a little bit) but I felt accomplished for hurting you. Now I feel sick because that's not me! "Who I am hates who I've been." legit. It upsets me how nasty I've become and I case you ever read this, I'm truly sorry.

You are original. You are wonderful. You are a beautiful person.