The thing I hate most about Connie

is that I see myself in her.

I live a double life with my family, I fool my simple mother, I get scolded for doting on the mirror.

but most of all,

even after knowing who he really was---and what would happen to me,

I too, went willingly.

Raw Passion

Dear Terrance,

Right now you are sleeping soundly in the spare bedroom. Soundly and peacefully. Resting your head on my pillows and tangled in my sheets. I hope your dreams are as wonderful as I feel right now. Though I'd love to join you in sleep, I will be waking you up for breakfast in twenty minutes. Poached eggs and toast---our usual. I could get used to this, you know? Making you breakfast every day. Sleeping with you every night. Your body keeps me warm and your arms keep me safe. I sleep so well with you that afterwards I can hardly imagine every sleeping alone again.

Thank you for such a wonderful night. Being so close to you was what I needed most this week.

Sweet dreams my love.

What the hell am i getting myself into?

Again? Really?
Come on Gina,
figure it out.
it always starts like this.
You want to love him,
but you cant.
because you refuse to let go of the past.
This isn't fair.
For either of you,
but especially not for Terrance.
You're going to drag him though hell,
these next few months,
and in the end you'll realize
you. can't. love. him.
you can't make it though this
because you aren't strong enough.
you're so weak underneath it all.
and if you really cared about him,
you wouldn't torment him so.
you'd let him go.
before its too late---
but you've passed that point.
this isn't a simple crush anymore.
you're already starting a history
and you hardly know who he is!?
bad move.
you break everything you touch.

When my love swears that she is made of truth

“When my love swears that she is made of truth
I do believe her, though I know she lies,
That she might think me some untutor’d youth,
Unlearned in the world’s false subtleties."


i know i'm cheating, this shouldn't count as my "daily post", but i've skipped the past few days and i really have no time to write what is on my mind.
but i read this today in AP lit and it really jumped out at me. this is the first four lines of sonnet 138 by william shakespeare,
read it.
understand it.
enjoy it.


truth told at a slant.

You.

Terrance Joseph Christ.
You.
You are mesmerizing.
You've woven yourself
deep into my subconscious--
a difficult feat, no doubt.
Every thought is heavily laced
with your opiate.
your essence.
the drug you've got me hooked on.
i'm addicted, Terrance.
I think I love you.

part of me wants to destroy you.

the jealous part.